I cannot consistently blog and I apologize, life has been just a tad busy recently. So I was offered the biggest photo job of my career so far and ended up losing it. I was offered a gig to shoot the Cirque du Soleil rehearsal and show, but this came at a time when my mother's boiler broke in February, so I was apparently in a dead zone in her basement trying to fix her boiler so she could have heat. I ended up missing the phone call and they had to go to another photographer. Being disappointed is an understatement, but I wouldn't have changed what happened, my mom's house had heat by the end of the day, and I had no photo gig. I'm honored to know that I was thought of for such a prestigious job, and can hopefully be offered similar things in the future. In the meantime I have to get better at responding to people about photo sales that email me. I am being published by two different organizations for publications and am really excited about this. So things are looking up on that front.
About my day time job, well that is just "interesting." To say that I am getting burned out is an understatement, it feels as if I'm being punished for being a good worker and dependable. Being the "go to guy" is becoming really frustrating, I do not enjoy being responsible to make sure everyone does what they are supposed to, or if they don't having to be the one that fixes it. There was a conversation I had where I was told that I need to know how to do everything here, and that I can't rely on the other employees. I'm highly tempted to just pack up and disappear for a while, but alas this stupid mortgage is more of an anchor than I thought. I told a co-worker that I thought of going on an extended vacation to try and save my sanity, his response was: "tell me when, so I can quit, I don't want to be here to see what happens if you're gone." Hey at least some other people can see what I do at work, I guess that's good?
February and March are blending together and moving by too fast, between travelling and lack of sleep/rest I might honestly be going insane. I did have a wake up moment when I saw a friend with an eerily similar life habit as mine, end up in the emergency room with heart troubles. Seeing a friend in the hospital and seeing why he was there, and relating to yourself is quite a scary ordeal. To be able to picture yourself in the same position and not knowing if/when it will happen makes you question certain things. The only problem is neither of us can take our foot off the gas, so to speak, in our lives. We only have one speed and one way of doing things, now we get to think of us as young and dumb with one foot in the grave. Well here's to hoping we can make it for quite a few more years.
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