Internet Warning Labels

Well if the title doesn't explain it, they are warning labels for the internet. I suggest everyone check thsese out, because you cannot unsee what you have already seen.

Link here

When Role Playing Goes Bad

I promise I'll make a real post this week, but after last weeks fun at work, I'm trying to relax and laugh. In the meantime I hope someone gets a chuckle out of one of these videos.

If R&B music was realistic...

you would have this

http://view.break.com/472488 - Watch more free videos

You've used the one twice

Sometimes it is great to be dumb and lucky:

And now to vent a little...

Well it's been an interesting couple of days at work. I had an interesting story with a moron and his laptop; it's not the first time I've had a problem with this moron, but one day I keep thinking it will change. So this idiot bought a laptop a few months ago, with Windows Vista installed and I thought I had finally gotten rid of him, but no a few days before Easter, the dreaded day came, and he returned. He tells me he wants to get rid of Vista and install XP, I tell him there are no drivers for XP and his laptop (hoping this would discourage him, and the conversation would end). He says "but Toshiba told me there would be," my first reaction, was then okay fucktard, then go to them and get em, don't come to me. But of course I could not say what I was thinking, but said ok, let me check their website, and of course no damn drivers, so I figured out what should work, and burn him a cd. About a week later on Tuesday, I see him again, with the laptop (Fuck can't hide he already saw me, shit this is why I work in the back, and rarely come out, it helps me keep thinking that maybe there aren't that many dumb people).

Lo and Behold, the laptop doesn't work right, and he's telling me that he can't install Office 2007, because he doesn't have that "pack 2 thing" that apparently I did not install. Huh, pack 2? You're fucking kidding me, he doesn't even have service pack 2 installed, no biggie I thought, just connect to the WLAN, and get it, oh wait that doesn't really work on SP1, well theres the ethernet port, but haha the computer tells me to fuck off because that doesn't work either. So I rummage through my desk and find an old SP2 disk, go to install it, then comes the next fuck you from the laptop, its a Polish version of XP. Go to Microsoft's site to get the distributable version of SP2, and my next fuck off came, they no longer have it online. Great, so this is gonna suck, needless to say the weird little moron was looking over my shoulder the entire time, so I tell him to come back in a few hours, because I'm going to need time to install SP2, but first find it. Before he leaves he tells me he wants his media card reader to work, his fingerprint scanner to work, and to make sure everything else works too. WTF, it all worked with Vista, and you have no idea what a computer can even do. You bought a desktop, about 3 years ago, and broke that, you bought a digital camera, and broke that, you bought a digital camcorder and broke that... STOP BUYING SHIT YOU DO NOT NEED, AND DON'T KNOW HOW TO USE!!!!

Well needless to say I got Sp2 from some slow ass server from Poland, and installed it, got everything in Device manager to show everything installed fine, made sure the media card reader worked, and decided to install the updates from Microsoft, and guess what, he installed an illegal copy of Windows, damnit you little bastard. So a few minutes later I hit some buttons, and prayed to God to let the Updates install, and THEY DID!!! WOW it's my lucky day (for legal purposes that last sentence might be a work of fiction, but I'll let you be the judge).

I finish all of this with two minutes to spare before closing, I give him the laptop and send him on his merry little way. Well Thursday he's back, and he got rid of everything I did, and reformatted his Hard drive and reinstalled XP SP1, but he thought he could outsmart me, and give it to another tech to fix, I tell him to go tell the fucktard to stick the laptop up his ass, and I am no longer going to partake in his redundant repair needs. If you want me to fix your laptop, and I do, don't go and fuck it all up again.

I know that you might want the attention, because you are apparently an almost 30 year old virgin, with Porn on your computer, right next to the folder that you have your mom's recipes, you disgusting little fuck. And never tell me you share the laptop you watch your porn on, with your mom. Because there is no way a video title "25 year old pussy getting banged hard," is not porn, and the last time I had to fix your desktop, you left your 6 hour long Porn DVD in the drive, so yes I do use latex gloves when I used to fix your computer, but no more, I'm done find another poor bastard to fix your fucked up, disgusting computer.

The Patriots

No not the 18 wins, 1 giant loss Patriots, the University of Michigan Patriots, what never head of them? Yeah, I know most of you went to State, and hate UofM with a passion, me I'm still kind of mad at them for screwing with my bracket, but not as mad as I am at Stephen Curry, and the disappointing Georgetown Hoyas.

Well enough of the side thought back to the original post, back to the Patriots; they are a group of students? that "disrupt" classes. They came up with an awesome reason to leave class, just check it out:

Check out their other videos on their site UM Patriots, the Pac-man video was awesome (at least I thought so).

Update on my Degree

Well after dealing with the retarded bureaucracy at Wayne State, I'm finally done. Not without problems but I'm done. If you read my previous post you know the problem I had obtaining my degree, if you have not read it shame on you, recap here first, then read the rest.
Well back in Feb. I tried to get a class waived and boy was that fun, my student adviser sat on my HS transcripts for six months doing nothing, when I applied for my degree I find that out. So I went to the Advising center the following day, and wanted to talk to someone about waiving the class, I got there at 8:30 in the morning, which by the way sucks to go to Wayne State that early. I go to ask the secretary/student aide and asked him if I could see an adviser told him my major, and my problem he told me I needed my transcripts, I had not received the extra transcript from the Archdiocese of Detroit Archives yet.

So I go to the Business school who have a copy of my transcripts, and ask for a copy of MY records, and was told they're not sure if they could do that. WTF they are my damn transcripts, that I paid to be sent to the school, and was told at 8:40 am to wait to talk to an adviser, they don't come in til 9. Thanks, so I'm sitting their waiting, practically twiddling my thumbs, because there is nothing better to do, and advising the other students to run away from the advisers, and figure out what to do on your own, because they are completely pointless. So the first adviser comes in about 9:10 and, overhear the Secretary telling her they can't find my records in their filing system. AWESOME, so now you have completely screwed me over you lazy bastards. So the adviser looks for them, and finds them in the graduation pile, which they told me I could not do yet. So walking to her office I tell her I only need a copy of my H.S. transcripts, I am told to come into her office to talk, now if this was a porn, it might have been fun, but I had to wake up early on my only sleep in day of the week to come here dammit. So in her office she asks me what I wanted, and I tell here again that I only want a copy of my H.S. transcripts. She says that she can do that since they technically are mine, NO SHIT Sherlock thats why I'm here. Then she asks me why I and have to explain the same story again. She looks at me and says who did you talk to because we talked to Mrs. something, and they said they couldn't do it. So far I have talked to whover you guys gave me the number to, and was told that you have absolutely no idea what the hell you are doing, and I agreed.

I finally get a copy and go back to the advising center talk to the same secretary for the 4th time in two damn days, tell him my story again, and my major, and he then proceeds to tell me that they do not help business school students, I tell him that I know how to read the signs posted everywhere, but I was told to come here by the business school. The older possibly a secretary sitting in the back overheard my conversation, and told me to come to her, I have to once again explain the whole ordeal to a new person, show her the letter I got from the business school, and she says she will get someone who can help me. About 5 mins later she brings over a person and tells me to tell her my story, again. She then asks me if I can get a course catalog from my school, I tell her that would be hard since my school closed a few years ago, and they don't have these anymore. She ten asks if I can get a course description from the school, and I re-explained that the school closed, and that means that they don't have these records there anymore.

Now this is where I tell her that this has happened to other students including my sister, and that the only thing I can get is a copy of a letter my old guidance counselor wrote, explaining that it was actually two semesters of speech. She says to bring it, so I call Kasia on the way out, and she says that she'll look for it. Fast forward about a week or two, I go back to the advising center, and ask to talk to Mrs. Whatever, because I was told I need no appointment to come see her again, being 9 am and me being there I hoped to get this finally done, but was told they were in a meeting till 11am, yes all guidance counselors, for Wayne State, had decided to screw and shun the students for 2.5 hours that morning. SO, I do what I always do when I'm bored, I go online and find weird, and sometimes funny things (you should know this by now, if you have seen/read any parts of my blog). She comes in about 11, and talks to a friend for like 10 minutes at the door, as I am politely waiting, thankfully she remembers me and my problem, so there is no need to go through the whole story again. I bombard her with multiple letters, from my old school, my sister and WSU, she looks confused, and says she will copy them take care of the problem and let my adviser know that I can get my degree.

I did not hear anyting from my adviser for quite some time, and email her last week, I kept checking online, and read degree pending, no response from my adviser yet. 4 days after the email I get this response:
HI Konrad,
We will forward your info over to the Records dept. at the end of the
W08 semester, they will then mail the diploma.
Hope this helps

Why yes it does because I need my degree to apply to Grad school, and I check online and says degree awarded, So I'm done with you, then realize crap I'm coming back to you for Grad School. WSU is a new circle of Hell, if Dante could write a new book it would be set at the campus offices of WSU.

Best Best Man's Speech I ever heard

This guy is awesome to do this, you have to watch the video:

Ultimate Best Man Speech - video powered by Metacafe

Never Forget the Classics

Ahh remember the days before game saves, where you actually tried to beat a game in one sitting? How about blowing a cartridge to get a game to work? Remember getting bored with games and actually going outside to play as a kid? Man those were the days, no worries, no cares and some awesome games you will always remember. Well try to relive some past glory here, and make sure to have fun, so bust out the ecto cooler Hi-C, find that slap on wrist band and let your worries fade away.

Currently Listening to...

Obadiah Parker, what you haven't heard of them? Yes it's a band from Arizona, they did a really good job on the acoustic cover of Hey Ya by Outkast. Check out their myspace page here, and if you like their music you can buy it on itunes. I've been listening to the cd for a while now and like every song on it, which for me is a rarity.

F*CK Cars

So last Saturday we go to a restaurant and Mike tells me that one of my headlights is out, no biggie I thought. So Sunday I go to Murray's and look for the bulb, I need an HID-D2R bulb, but wait it's not on the shelf, I do the unmanly thing and ask for help. So he looks for the bulb and HOLY FUCK its $129.99 FOR A FUCKING BULB. First thought you're kidding me right, Nope even he's like fuck thats expensive. So he says that they don't have them in stock, and that I have to order it, but I would have to pay first, I'm basically bent over a table and going ok. So we go to order it, but the computer won't let him, whoever the fuck put a bulb in the computer with a price that is in no stores and can't be ordered thanks asshole for giving me hope and instantly taking it away. SO I am told to go to Richard's Auto Parts for the bulb, it's on 8 mile and Dequindre, at least the one open on Sundays is. So i had to go to work and put it off till Monday.
Monday comes around call Richard's and he can order the part for $98, I told him fine go ahead, so I buy the part, go home and replace the bulb, and lo and behold the light still doesn't fucking work, WTF I'm getting pissed. I go back to the auto parts store and tell the man with the lazy eye what happened and all he can tell me is there is no return or exchanges on electrical parts, Fuck you little man and fuck the other wall you are looking at when you are talking to me. You could have told me that before I paid $98 for a bulb, you could have pointed to that nonexistent sign stating this, or you could have been like fuck you white boy and not ordered the part, so now I am even angrier at the store and myself.
So i go to my mechanic friend and ask him about my light, he checks my old light and said it was fine so he tells me to bring my car into the shop. So I do, he checks the electrical and tells me the light modulator is broken, did you know xenon bulbs needed their own electrical modulator because I did not. SO I ask him how much it would cost, he goes to his computer and looks up the Dealer price of GET THIS $453.20, my first thought FUCK YOU NISSAN, my second thought that is insane, and he agrees. He tells me to just buy one on ebay.
So later that day, I find an auction of a guy selling the whole headlight for $110.00 with a working bulb and electrical modulator, or what in the normal world is called an electrical ballast. 3 days later I get the part unscrew the ballast and go to the mechanic, he takes out the headlight, takes out the ballast and looks at mine and realizes that they are not the same, fucking after market parts. He tells me I have to get another one, and I'm going FUCK FUCK FUCKITY FUCK. I tell him i have the headlight I took it out from my trunk, and we just decided to replace the whole thing, best part was he did it for free. So now I have two working headlights, 2 extra xenon bulbs a spare headlight and a hatred for xenon lights in cars.

I'm not even going to try and explain this

Alright I know I put up weird stuff on my so-called blog, but this is just weird. The link will take you to a Mormon guide on how to overcome something, what that something is you are going to have to find out. I get enough strange visitors looking for stuff that they are not expecting, so no explanations, hopefully no weird visitors because of this post, so just have fun and read the guide here.

I tried something similar

I used to play with my zippo lighters a lot in high school, hence the whole pyro group thing. But I would sometimes put the lighter fluid in my palm and light it, it wouldn't burn me thanks to gravity, but you have to make sure to throw the remaining liquid out of your hand before it burns all the way, neat trick by the way. But this guy took it to a whole new level of awesomeness:

Playing with Fireballs
Yes thats right how to make your own damn fireballs, just watch the video and don't burn your house down.