Not going to happen at the DSO

or



or

Aha I'm just a Caring Father

Every Episode of ‘House’ Ever

Cracked.com's list of every episode of House. (although they are missing the it could be lupus statement)

Check it out here.

Best Comeback by a Cop

"I thought Pretty Girls don't get tickets" Response by the cop is priceless

You maybe should have consulted someone...

...before naming your product The Fag Detector III.

The FAG Detector III is an easy to operate, portable vibration measuring instrument for reliable monitoring of machines.

Here is the product page.

The Kazakh Gangsta

I guess this is what passes as a tough guy rapper in Kazakhstan.... IT'S NICE, I LIKE!!!



Wow, words cannot describe how bad this whole thing is, you just need to watch this train wreck.

NASA urine recycler test

Patrese and his Wife

So never trust your husband if he is a F1 racer, and he takes you around the track in a regular car.  But this is funny:

Everyone underestimates the knee to the Groin...

Uhhm not really, then heel to the balls owwww! he tried to kill me, so i got to return him the favor, awesome.

Ah, Physics and Logic

Awesome!

When Geeks have too much time...

...they make the worlds first Robotic Adult Film star...OhYeah!!!

Ewwwww

I just found out my son ____________ into the
egg drop soup at the chinese buffet restaurant he works at?

Click here for the actual question.

So who wants to go to the restaurant now? I will never eat egg drop soup again!

Did you really need a study for that?

Research conducted at the University of Kentucky in Lexington found that when Fayette County high schools delayed their start time by an hour, the percentage of students getting at least eight hours of sleep per night jumped from 35.7 to 50 percent.

Read about the research here.

Amazing, if you start school an hour later, kids get more sleep. Thank you, University of Kentucky, you have just won the NO Shit Sherlock award. They also say, "Students have the most difficulty staying awake and functioning during early morning classes." Again did you really need to research this, you couldn't just go kids don't sleep, mornings suck, maybe the morning classes will suck too? I used to fall asleep in my high school Accounting class, and the teacher would just walk up to my desk, and keep tapping on it until I woke up. But if it was an hour later, I would keep falling asleep in class, no helping that.

And on a completely different side note, check out awesome old christmas ads at the unfabulouz blog.

Just Switch already

From the Microsoft Blog:

A malignant security flaw found in all versions of Microsoft’s Internet Explorer browser has yet to be fixed, and the problem is spreading. Microsoft detailed the flaw in a security update blog post six days ago. Since then, the problem has spread across the globe, hitting at least 2 million computers.

Unlike other computer exploits, this one does not require users to click on fishy links or download mysterious software: it plagues computers that simply open an infected Web page.

Internet Explorer is currently used by 69 percent of Web surfers. The flaw hides inside the data binding function of the browser and causes IE to quit unexpectedly and reopen vulnerable to prying eyes. — Brennon Slattery, PC World

This problem has been around since IE5, and has yet to be fixed. Thanks Microsoft, you keep pumping money into the whole internet explorer browser for no damned reason, it still sucks! Can the probably possibly have anything to do with being able to remotely access a computer with elevated security priviledges? No wait that makes sense, let everyone do it there could be no problem with this.

I personally hate everything about Internet Explorer, it's incapable of displaying most sites correctly, and forces web developers to create hacks to make a site work for your crap browser, and if you're company forces you to use IE, go yell at the IT department, and if you use IE, please, please, PLEASE switch to one of the following:

Mozilla Firefox (I use this)
Google Chrome (quickly becoming a favorite browser)
Opera
Safari

Things that go bump in the night

Now you really wanted the monsters to be real.

Saturday Post

So I just got back from spreading Holiday cheer to children in the city, YAY!

And after yesterday's little I hate the way we give out money talk, back to posting videos/stories that make you laugh, or scratch your head.

I hope this is a hazing thing but why would the army make soldiers do the oompa loompa song?


And just to make fun of the internet's newest whipping boy, Twilight. Sorry if you read the books and liked them, but they have become somewhat of a punchline on almost all internet forums. Here is cracked's version if the book was 10 times shorter and 100 times more honest.

My favorite part:

KRISTEN STEWART

Wait, we can't have sex at all, and you can't suck my blood? How can you make a vampire movie without anyone sucking blood?

ROBERT PATTINSON

It's alright, I think this movie already has more than enough sucking.

The Bartender

The once in a while Rant

So occascionally I use this blog to vent and rant a little, this is one of those times. Last night the Government loan to the Auto Industry failed. We gave $700 billion to the banking system to stop a worlwide banking failure, no biggie right? The government had no problem saving one institution that screwed themselves over, but when the auto industry needs to be saved, just wait one minute there what about the little businesses they ask? Yes the auto industry needs to be updated and needs to be more competitive. Last year both Toyota and GM sold the same amount of cars about 9 million cars each, GM did it at a $38.7 billion loss, Toyota $17.1 billion dollar profit. That is not competition that is a total ass kicking, they are dead even in sales yet have no chance at competition. P.S. Cerberus/Chrysler if you want govt. money make your books public, don't tell me you're broke without proving it.

But this is not the point of the rant, the $15 billion dollar loan is denied, ok, but what the hell is the Fed doing loaning $2 trillion dollars to unnamed institutions. Where the hell is Congress to go wait a minute on that shit. From Bloomberg:

The Federal Reserve refused a request by Bloomberg News to disclose the recipients of more than $2 trillion of emergency loans from U.S. taxpayers and the assets the central bank is accepting as collateral.

Bloomberg filed suit Nov. 7 under the U.S. Freedom of Information Act requesting details about the terms of 11 Fed lending programs, most created during the deepest financial crisis since the Great Depression.

So we can't save a large industry, unless you are a bank, then you can say you are just too big to fail and we go Well OK, now where are the rabbits Lenny, I want to play with the rabbits. But if you are not a bank we ask questions, and think of our constituents. Hell they let American Express recategorize themselves as a bank, to get money from the bailout, and have put the paperwork to recategorize yourself as a bank online. So GM become a Bank, get the bailout money, hell we all know the government will never get a dime back from that. Read the Bloomberg story here.

Me, I'm going back to thinking about how a few years ago, in business school going over the whole but the credit derivatives can't be covered what happens if the economy gets like totally f*cked? Don't worry that won't happen! HA! I remember all those offers to work for the risk arbitrage department, nice that would have been fun. I could only imagine looking at the screen and hearing crying/screaming when all the cards fell. Hell if we could see it in school, why did no one in the banking institution see this coming? Oh wait they did, but if you brought it up at an interview, that's where it ended and they wanted nothing to do with you. So Congratulations to the few who had enough money to actually make a killing by forseeing what would happen, and becoming rich off the stupidity of your colleagues.

Wow, 10 ads that make you go huh?

So I don't feel like posting anything today, so here is a link to a blog that did: Link.

I didn't know NASA could be cool

This is quite possibly one of the best presentations I have ever seen, and it's done by NASA, who knew they had it in them. Although it is quite possibly the worst way to showcase picture slides they are in a PDF format. But it is a fun, quick read. Check it out here.

Two days without posting

No there is nothing wrong with me, and yes I am fine I just didn't want to drink this weekend. But it has been two days since I have posted completely useless information or videos/pics or links to things that just make no sense. I was debating whether or not to post a link to a video that disturbed me, but I have decided to just put up a description of what happens:

A guy sits on a glass jar, forcing it into his anus. Jar breaks. Guy fishes out pieces of it while bleeding on the floor.

Why the hell did I watch the whole video? Why am I writing about it? Well because one of you will go and search for the video and will hate me.

And now for more WTF links/videos:

This one is actually funny, and one reason why I will not watch/read Twilight, he sparkles:


Next link is why you should always carefully read the instrucitons when experimenting with new kinky ways to spice up your sex life, the Customer review is hilarious.

Update for the party, so I ordered a case of Tyskie, have 6 of the 7 drinks for the seven deadly sins, if you thought I was joking about everyone doing a shot of one boy are you wrong. I don't care that we made up the shot during a Whiskey in the Jar buzz, I still remembered the damn thing, went out and bought the stuff, and EVERYONE WILL TRY IT! Hey it might even be bettter than Sambucca, but that's not saying much. But here is a fun list of things we can do at the party.

New SNL Digital Short

They had to play this late night, and I laughed my ass off during this video you have to see Andy Samberg's new video, Jizz in my pants:

The Library is Closing...

Well that's an interesting reaction to the library closing. Why doesn't everyone have the same reaction to their libraries? Do you not realize how important to the community a library is?

More funny videos like the "The Library is Closing" at Heavy.com

Ok, maybe you don't need the same reaction, but remember libraries=good!

This song keeps getting stuck in my head

So this is my new ringtone, and everytime someone calls me this song gets stuck in my head. I don't want to change it though because I love the song, check it out:


And now for a fun little trip down memory lane (if high) here is the Fraggle Rap, oh yeah Fraggle Rock one of the greatest shows ever:

Freestyle Translation

Tequila

Probably Fake Paper

I know that it is most likely a fake paper, but I still laughed.  Someone did actually read Oedipus, and if this was handed in, he actually barely passed, good job kid.  But everything tells me that its a fake..

Well read the review of Oedipus Paper here.