So I've made up my mind.

I'm alright with finishing last, I don't want to pretend to be an asshole. I'm actually a nice guy, and that's what I'm going to be from now on.  It's who I am, take it or leave it.  Too many things to explain why I'm doing this right now, but I feel good about myself after this decision, and I've been tested once already and I've passed the first test.  I'm not sure how long I can do this, but I'm pretty sure it's for good.  I need to take a break from the crazies for a while and I need to just relax and be myself.  If this changes anything how any of you feel about me, then that's for the better.