Monday, January 3, 2011

Taking a moment to vent about Hipsters in Detroit

Dear suburbanite transplant that has moved to Detroit recently, and by recently I mean the last few years:

You have absolutely no right to look down on me, or have the audacity to tell me that because I don't live in Corktown, or a completely run down part of town that I have nothing to speak of.  I'm sorry that I don't dress as ironically as you, or that there is actually some room in my pants to you know move or sit, or not see every part of my lower torso. I have lived here my entire life, I have supported local businesses and supported many local organizations.  You have lived in the suburbs and know nothing about real life, you moved down here when some of your friends did, or when you read about your now urban God known as Phil Cooley.  I have nothing against Phil, he is a wonderful man who owns a great restaurant and truly wants to improve the city.  His so called followers though are a different story, some of you I have no problems with, you came to this city to actually make it better.  To the moronic assholes who came here to be cool, and not actually make a difference I despise you with a passion.  You came here and complained, you still complain about the quality of life, yet try nothing to improve it, I see you at local bars and and at music shows and somehow because of you I feel like I'm the odd one out.

You hipsters who are not creative enough to come up with your own style, who rummaged around your parents closets to find shirts from the 70s and 80s to wear so you can be retro cool.  You who drink your PBR or High life and listen to 7 bands that sound exactly alike that no one has ever heard of, and once this band reaches any form of success they are useless to you.  This for some reason I believe is your idea of living in Detroit, you like it because it is desolate and run down, no one wants to bother you, and if you see it is changing, just like your musical tastes you will grow disinterested with this city.  It will have become too mainstream for you to enjoy, too popular to be known as the unknown.  You will flee yet again just as your parents had years ago, and you will look back down at this city.  I will still remain, still endure, and try to make this place better.

This has been brought on by one stupid comment from one person who's been in the city for 3 years, and is the greatest authority on it apparently.  More so than people who have worked here or lived here from a time before she was born.  But no you are here to correct me and my friend on living in the city.

Can helping the city become as ironic as the clothes you wear, and you actually do something? Or will you remain in the ruins gladly listening to your unknown music, as you sit in the shambles of a once former great city?

I have not had a large impact on this city, yet I have tried.  I will help when called upon, and hell I've joined a few organizations to try and improve this city, and dear hipsters I find it despicable that you live here and we rely so much on your parents to drive down from the houses you moved out of to come in and help us.  The people who pay for your rent to stay in the city, because God forbid you get a real job, are the people who keep these organizations going. I'm sorry that I moved into a neighborhood that is still considerably safe, I'm sorry I've lived here my whole life, and I'm sorry that I dared disagree with you when we talked.

How dare I say that your thoughts on the city could be wrong, and that others have ideas on how to help this city.  You are smarter than me, you look down upon me, my shirt was made recently and that can only mean I'm a corporate shell who has been brainwashed with corporate ideas.  I have no idea what real music is because I only hear mainstream music or listen to Pandora.  My ideas in no way can be original, may you resurrect this city with your creative originality and lack of passion.

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